Today, I bought my very first lottery ticket. I figured, the worst thing that can happen is I won't win.

When I win, I am going to:

1. Give two million dollars to my parents.
2. Give two million dollars to my in-laws.
3. Pay off Russell's education/equipment/business license.
4. Pay off student ALL debts (car, hospital, student loans, personal loans).
5. Buy a house in my grandparents' neighborhood.
6. Get rid of our cars and get a new Toyota Matrix for me - black, and whatever car Luke wants.
7. Get the heck away from Dish Network as an employer (I'll still totally have it for TV service).
8. Get rid of this crappy Blackberry and get an iPhone or Google phone or something.
9. Put a half of the remainder in an account(s) for Amelia's college and whatever else.
10. Live off of the other half.
11. Take cake decorating classes.
12. Join a yarn crafts group.
13. Maybe even start a yarny store in Beckley or just hang out at Zazzy's/A Likely Yarn in Abingdon a lot.
14. Take my mom and brother and Uncle DJ and in-laws on amazing vacations to anywhere they want.
15. Go to the holocaust museum.
16. Build a swing and a slide in a room in our house for Amelia (and me).
17. Take Naarah to the vet.
18. Take really good care of my grandparents and Luke's Papaw and Doris.

And stop crying and wishing for the end of days and hoping that my belief in an afterlife is a waste.