What can we do?

A little over a week ago, Haiti's capitol was reduced to ashes. Now, its people fight disease and hunger even harder than they fought before. I spent a mere eight days on the island that Haiti is half of. Sure, my immediate thoughts zoomed to the little girl who gave me viral conjunctivitis in an orphanage on the other side of the island. Then, my heart tugged in the direction of the sugar cane village where the 15-year-old boy asked me in careful English if I would take him with me so he could learn more English and then clung to our bus until the rock laden road shook him and his friends off. These people fight hunger and disease every day. I wondered if they were okay. My hair has grown and been cut since the orphan girl braided it after walking me around her dirt yard by the hand. Now, I have a little girl to walk around by the hand. I will braid her hair one day. She sleeps under blankets in her bedroom in a house far from this disaster while Haitians sleep - some forever - under rubble and Dominicans sleep under garbage that lines their streets.

It, life, is hard. It just keeps catching up with this little family of mine. I lose my job. I get a crappy job. I get a better job - a break in the horrible pattern. Luke loses his job. Here we are. I wonder why this chain of bad events has to come down on us. I feel so selfish for complaining about BOTH of us not having good and stable, well-paying jobs. I will be able to feed, shelter, and insure my daughter. I might not be as comfortable as I'd like to be while doing it. I might be in debt for a lot longer than I'd anticipated when I learned I got a new job. I don't have to steal and run from guns and police and other hungry people to do these things though.

God has a way of humbling us. This disaster happened over a week ago, but I am just now getting down to thinking about it and applying lessons to my own life. I prefer to drift through days getting to the next exciting thing. I don't often consider people who are not close to me. I sometimes donate to the March of Dimes and St. Jude's, but that is the extent of my involvement. I don't know if I just don't do well with emotional situations because I'm a Vulcan-like Aspergian, or if I know that as soon as I look into the pained eyes in those photos on Google Images, I'm going to regret not pursuing that tug toward the sugar cane village, the orphanage, those schools, that kid I would have adopted after becoming a Dominican citizen, the people I would have fed to the best of my ability.

What can we do? We can donate. All of the money in the world will somehow find a way to get used incorrectly. Do our prayers do any good? Does it do anything for THEM if we keep praying or just appease our guilty hearts while we chow down on Chinese buffet? What can we do?

Someone silently left a flyer in the handle of my broken storm door today. I just wish I'd been able to greet them when they offered their invitation of ignorance.

The flyer is supposed to inform community residents of the threat of Industrial Wind coming to Tazewell County, Virginia. January 12, 2010 at 6:15 p.m., Tazewell Middle School will host a Public Hearing so residents' voices can be heard as they raise up to "Protect the Ridgelines of Tazewell County!"

The front of the flyer outlines the threat. The first (apparently the most important) point made is that the property value of your homes will decrease dramatically if they have a view of these monstrosities. Say nothing about the majority of the homes in this area running off of off road Someone silently left a flyer in the handle of my broken storm door today. I just wish I'd been able to greet them when they offered their invitation of ignorance.

The flyer is supposed to inform community residents of the threat of Industrial Wind coming to Tazewell County, Virginia. January 12, 2010 at 6:15 p.m., Tazewell Middle School will host a Public Hearing so residents' voices can be heard as they raise up to "Protect the Ridgelines of Tazewell County.!"

The front of the flyer outlines the threat. The first (apparently the most important) point made is that the property value of your homes will decrease dramatically if they have a view of these monstrosities. Say nothing about the majority of the homes in this area running on off-road diesel fuel and electricity to heat. Where does that oil come from again? Oh yeah.

Mountaintop Destruction is the second point argued. BD/Dominion will have to "demolish a large portion of the East River Mountain and any other considered ridges" by "blasting dynamite, leveling with heavy machinery, and the pouring of massive concrete foundations" which can "ruin the water tables, contaminate wells, and cause flooding." Apparently, these big companies don't take safety into consideration? If our under-educated community knows that these water tables and contaminate wells are here, how do we think that people that buy the property don't know about them? Because if someone is doing something that we don't like, they must be monsters without brains mindlessly jabbing our mountains. I've not heard any protests against the rock quarry not three miles down the road from my house. They use dynamite, huff heavy clouds of gravel dust into our lungs, and use huge machines and trucks to break and haul the rocks. They're breaking the skulls of our mountains too, but that's okay. They're not trying to make the world last a little longer so keep on keepin' on.

Hazards to Wildlife. Apparently birds and bats are too stupid to use their eyes and sonar to get out of the way of the whooshing blades. But ripping off the heads of the mountains and sucking dry the veins of coal running through our state destroying habitats and allowing toxic sludge to seep down our mountains and into our water supplies and ravage disease on our PEOPLE...HUMANS doesn't matter.

The ridiculous flyer then goes on to explain that few jobs will be created so no locals will benefit. Isn't a few more jobs better than a fewer jobs? So it isn't creating hundreds of jobs. At least a few more people will get to heat their homes, feed their kids, fix their cars without draining their parents' credit cards for help.

Our tourism is doomed because no one wants to look at mountains with wind turbines on them. It's just fine to look at radio, television, and electric towers though, which are just as high. East River Mountain area just does not have enough to offer for tourism to outweigh the benefits of wind turbines. It doesn't. There is just not that much to come here for. And there is NOTHING in Tazewell county that is drawing money from tourism.

Lastly, the flyer declares that "Turbines are dangerous and disruptive." It suggests that the turbines cause severe health problems to people living within two miles of the site (which is why it is UP ON A MOUNTAIN MILES AWAY FROM HOMES) and strobe lights (to protect the birds and bats) mounted on the housings will "permenently ruin our night sky." Southern X's spotlights be damned? Oh no. As long as naked skinnies are parading, lights are welcomed.

I'm not even going to get into the fact that this flyer is poorly put together. That is just the English major in me expecting professionalism from an organization creeping up to my door to slip a flyer in without knocking.

Holiday Wrap Up

This year, I was a Grinch. I started off kind of wary of the Christmas/New Year season. Then, I decided it was all about making it happen. So, I got myself psyched up about putting up the huge tree from my Grandmother (which we'll never ever use again because it is ENORMOUS), wrapping the one present I had to give, and dressing the little S family up in Red and Black because "That's our style, yo."

So, the day came and went. I was not without medication so we all came out without bloodshed. I was glad to see it go though. For the first time ever, I took my tree down before time for New Year ball-dropping. It was down as soon as we came home from our visiting. I was even so grinchy to decide that from now on, we'll have a table-top tree because we do so much traveling anyway. Ok, maybe that's just practical instead of grinchy.

But today is January 1, 2010. I decided that this year, "Twenty-Ten" because it sounds more Science Fictiony than Two Thousand Ten according to my father-in-law (to whom I owe a lot of my happiness--SHOUTOUT! That takes too much time and uncharacteristic sentimentality to explain; just accept it.), would be the best year of my life yet. After that, I decided I'd declare that every year until I'm dead and maybe even them some more. I'm not THINKING negative thoughts.

I am going to work hard and play harder. I am going to show up for work early. I am going to scoop the litter box every day. I am going to fold the laundry the same day that it comes out of the dryer unless some playing needs to be done first. I am going to kiss my daughter even when she pouts when I try. I am going to squeeze as much EVERYTHING (good and bad because fruit has seeds) out of every day. And that's it.

Now. The holidays? I am not going to remember them with exhaustion and debt. I am going to remember what made them special.

My daughter opened presents. Sure, she liked her kitty and purple afro doll better than any of the neat things that made noise and taught her ABCs, but she enjoyed herself. So many people said "Amelia just makes Christmas for me." Other people enjoyed themselves. Lastly, I have people in my life that love me so much that they know really special and thoughtful gifts to give me. My mom got me three different sets of post-it notes (and matching magnets!). I don't know anyone but my mom that has an appreciation for office supplies that matches mine. Luke's parents got me a snowflake obsidian earrings and necklace set. They know my favorite stone. Yes, I have a favorite stone. Yes, it is a flash hardened magma. Yes, I'm specific enough that it is snowflake obsidian. It became my favorite stone when Mrs. Dillon took us to Luray Caverns and I fell in love with the beautiful black-and-white shiny, tiny stone. My favorite Uncle (yeah, I even discriminate uncles. Not aunts though. They're all my favorites.) got me an iPod touch. He consistently spoils me rotton, and I've had to charge that thing every day since because I'm getting so much use out of it. I'm basically obsessed. Sure, these are all material things, but they are also representative of the attention paid and love shown to me by the people that matter the most.

And even though we're flat broke and have a subscription to Netflix, Luke got me the new Harry Potter dvd because he knows how badly I wanted to see it and add it to my complete collection. All of this while he thinks Harry Potter is ridiculous. (Well...thought. He finally figured out that the story is very similar to the Star Wars story.)

So, the holidays are over and I'm feeling much better. I guess that is why so many people love the holidays so much. It has this way of sneaking a little bit of happiness in on you.

I've broken my trend of doing a neat little fragmented blog post at the end of the year summarizing my past 365 days in ambiguous phrases. That's over along with the O-something decade. I am really glad to see it go. I had a lot of really awesome things happen during that ten years, but the next ten are going to be awesome. I'll make sure of that. I'll forget the bad (bad rhymes with Chad...haha) and write the good in stone.

Amelia will have her first real steps. (STOP JUDGING HER! SHE IS CAUTIOUS!) She might tell me stories like her daddy and go on and on forever and never really find the point and I will love it because I will love watching her get excited over anything at all. Or she will tell me stories like her Papaw and awe me with her cleverness. Maybe she will tell me stories like her Papa and make everything tear-worthy. She will attack me with kisses, learn to read, chase the cat, drive me nuts, and probably eat a few more crayons (Hey. I get it. They really do have an awesome texture AND smell. I wanted Sharpie, Febreze, and hand sanitizer when I was pregnant with her.)

So, no holiday letter this year. No Christmas cards either. You all know how to get to my pictures of my glorious daughter. I'll give you prints if you want some. If I could erase the whole year and start over, I wouldn't. That's way too freaking scary. Plus, 2010 will harvest some experiences and goals and opportunities that would never have come around had all of the bad parts of 2009 not happened. I like the sound of 2010 better anyway. I'm not goint to say "thousand" in the year name. It sounds snooty. We all need a little more sci-fi in our lives anyway, right?

So, I love you. I know you love me. I really appreciate it. I can't express my feelings very well, so knowing that you love me anyway really means a lot. :)

Happy New Year. Good Luck. Godspeed.

(Oh! And if you remember, please say a little prayer for me or send some good thoughts my way on January 5.)